


Inexorable Fate

by Zoadgo



Series: Merry Ficmas! [3]
Category: The 100 (TV), Z Nation (TV)
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Soulmate AU, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 06:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5486735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoadgo/pseuds/Zoadgo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has the last words that their soulmate will ever say to them marked on their skin from birth. Sometimes you can lose your soulmate in a way worse than death, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inexorable Fate

_Don’t die out there._

The last words that his soulmate will ever say to him, marked on John Murphy’s body since birth. Everyone has their own words, their own ways of proving who their soulmate was only after losing them. Some people have benign words that make them live in constant fear of the person who said them dying shortly after, and Murphy never thought that his were commonplace. But of course, that all changed just like everything about the world did when the dead began rising and fucking everything up.

_Just puppies and kittens._

Murphy takes care never to use that nickname for zombies after seeing the words written on 10k’s thigh, the first night that they managed to get enough time alone to shed at least a few articles of clothing and do more than steal rough kisses while on watch together. He doesn’t know if they’re soulmates or simply in love, but they know each other’s words and never say them, certain that way that their time together won’t end. It’s a foolish line of thought, but it comforts them against the cruel world they live in.

Day 316 after Murphy joins Operation Bitemark, and he’s on watch with 10k again. You would think, given that they rarely do much watching at all when posted together, that Warren would stop letting them take the last shift before dawn together, but Murphy guesses she does it so they get their more physical displays of affection out of the way before the rest of the group wakes up. If that’s the case, Murphy’s more than happy to oblige.

He smiles against the warm skin of 10k’s neck as his fingers trace along the waist of 10k’s pants, dragging in a way that Murphy knows makes him shiver and moan. And of course he does, in the apocalypse you don’t waste time in learning everything you can about the people you fall for. Murphy nips at the skin of 10k’s neck lightly, following it with a kiss as he slides 10k’s shirt up slightly to expose more skin to the chill, pre-dawn air.

Murphy hears a moan, and he almost smiles again, but it’s not 10k’s moan, so familiar in his ears. No, this is a rattling, hungry sound, also familiar but far less enjoyable. Murphy stills and pulls away from 10k slightly, looking past him to the space behind him that they’re supposed to be watching for incoming zombies.

“Shit,” Murphy curses as he sees one of the lumbering corpses shuffle into view, and 10k immediately switches into response mode at the tone of Murphy’s voice, pulling his shirt down and retrieving his rifle.

“You see any specials?” 10k turns to scan the slowly appearing horde for the more difficult to slay Zs, and Murphy shakes his head, already drawing his knives and starting towards the first ones.

“Wake the group up, I’ll fend them off for now. Nothing I can’t handle.” The zombies are too close for 10k’s rifle to be of too much use until he can get higher ground, Murphy’s skills in close quarter combat are what this situation calls for, so 10k doesn’t argue.

“You run if there’s Blasters, okay?” At 10k’s concern, Murphy throws a smile over his shoulder.

“Just puppies and kittens,” He says with confidence, and 10k rolls his eyes at him.

“Don’t die out there,” With that, 10k turns and jogs back to the rest of the group, and Murphy darts up to the first zombie, ducking around a pile of debris to pike it quickly and quietly.

Murphy’s knife sinks solidly into the Z’s skull, but instead of the usual sick thrill of victory he gets at mercying one of them, he feels a wave of foreboding terror crash into him. The words. The words they’d promised never to say to each other, they’d just let fall without thinking about it. And given that 10k doesn’t tend to fight on the same field as Murphy, sniping zombies from a distance, they likely won’t see each other until after the battle, won’t be able to say more words to lift the death sentence on one of them.

Murphy almost runs to find 10k, but another zombie falls on him, and he has to struggle to mercy it. Then he’s in the middle of the horde, and he vaguely notes his backup joining him, and there’s no course of action other than to give himself over to the battle. Murphy fights like he’s never fought before, hoping the words were just a coincidence, unwilling to let this battle be the end of him. If he can stay safe, 10k should be safe, too, further removed from the vile teeth of the undead swarm.

It doesn’t take long to mercy all of the zombies, just a couple of minutes, a good fight by any counts. But it’s far too long for Murphy, killing every Z with dread bubbling in his gut, until he looks around for another target and sees nothing but still corpses and his teammates.

“John?” 10k’s voice calls out to him, and Murphy turns with hopes rising, believing for one glorious moment that they beat the odds as he sees his boyfriend looking for him from the top of a pile of rubble.

Murphy has started walking towards him with a smile, calling out a response, when he sees the Z seemingly apparate behind 10k, reaching for him with decomposing hands. Murphy’s greeting turns into an incoherent, shouted warning, and he sees Warren and Vasquez’s guns whip up at the monster in unison as 10k turns. The guns sound, and the Z falls short of 10k, but he had turned too quickly, and Murphy watches in horror as the rubble shifts, and 10k falls.

There’s one frozen moment where Murphy does nothing, where he’s simply blank and still, and then reality rushes back as 10k’s head cracks against a piece of cement, and Murphy runs forward with a shout. Doc and Addy are next to him in a heartbeat, Warren and Vasquez following at a more careful pace, weapons ready and eyes searching for more zombies, but Murphy doesn’t care about that. He simply sprints to 10k’s side and drops to his knees next to the frighteningly still boy, wanting to grab him and shake him until he wakes up, but also not wanting to accidentally hurt him. He settles for kneeling there and staring at 10k, numb with shock as Doc checks for a pulse.

“Oh thank God, he’s alive,” Doc’s voice is shaky with relief, and Murphy hears a sob from Addy.

“Can I-” Murphy’s voice is tight and cuts off in a croak, and he swallows and tries again, asking Doc while keeping his gaze fixed on 10k for any signs of consciousness, “Can I touch him?”

“Don’t move him much, we don’t know how hard he hit his head.”

Murphy nods in response to Doc’s warning and grabs 10k’s hand. He wants to clutch him to him chest, to hold him safe from harm until he wakes, but this is enough, Murphy tells himself. He simply clutches 10k’s hand as Doc carefully checks his skull, and he tries not to read too much into Doc’s expression as he does so.

“Hey, Doc,” Warren’s voice sounds from behind Murphy, and Doc stands and walks over to her, their footsteps walking away a decent distance before they begin a hushed conversation. Murphy doesn’t care, all he cares about is 10k and if he’ll wake up.

Time passes by, marked by more people leaving to join the quiet conversation with Doc and Warren, but Murphy stays exactly where he is. The rubble digs into his knees, but the pain is nothing compared to the looming threat that 10k might not wake up. The longer his eyes remain closed, the more Murphy frets. The group can’t stay here forever, he knows that, and moving 10k could hurt him further.

The secretive group breaks after a time, returning to Murphy and 10k, and Murphy wonders which one of them is going to try to take him away from 10k. He knows that to them, the mission is more important than any one person, but it’s not like that for him. He joined their mission late, and if he’s being quite honest, most of his reason for staying with it was the frighteningly pale and still boy in front of him.

Hesitant footsteps approach Murphy, and he’s just about to tell them to not even bother trying, when 10k’s lips part slightly. His brow furrows slightly, and a groan emanates from his lips, and Murphy lets out a surprised laugh of joy, laden with shocked tears as 10k’s eyes open. He blinks and looks around in confusion, and Murphy lunges forward, hugging him fiercely before letting go hurriedly, worried about hurting 10k.

“Wha-” 10k looks at Murphy with confusion and pushes himself away slightly. Murphy supposes it’s understandable, he’d be confused too if he’d fallen that far and been knocked unconscious.

“Hey, 10k, how’s the head?” Doc’s voice is quiet and calm from behind Murphy, likely knowing 10k’s bound to have at least one hell of a headache, and 10k blinks hard, shaking his head slightly.

“10k?” His own name is a question from 10k’s lips, and Murphy feels fear all over again.

“That’s your name, kiddo, Ten Thousand,” Murphy can hear the nerves in Doc’s voice as he prompts 10k, and not a hint of recognition crosses the sniper’s face.

“That’s a number, not a name,” The voice it 10k’s, but the words coming out of it don’t feel right, beyond just him not knowing his own name. To Murphy, it doesn’t even feel like he’s looking at 10k in that moment, more like a twin of his.

“You told us you picked it out yourself,” Murphy’s glad that Doc’s doing all the talking, because he’s quite confident he’d be unable to speak right now.

“Weird,” 10k mutters as he gently touches the lump on his head with a small groan, before looking at everyone in the group, his gaze slightly wary when it passes over Murphy, “Who are you people, anyway?”

“10k, what’s the last thing you remember?” Warren asks that question, and a look of intense concentration forms on 10k’s features s he tries to recall.

“Everything’s sort of… fuzzy.”

“Do you know what a zombie is?” Warren’s question is slow, and 10k nods in response to it, “Well, we’re a group taking a potential source for the cure to California. I’m Warren, that’s Addy, Vasquez, Doc, and Murphy. There’s another Murphy hiding somewhere around here, he’s the one with the cure.”

“Do you think you can move, kid?” Doc walks over to 10k, and 10k nods, accepting Doc’s hand up and standing shakily. 

Murphy chides himself for not being the one to help 10k to his feet, but this whole situation still feels off. 10k hadn’t seemed to recognize anything Warren said, or any of their names. He didn’t seem surprised by zombies being real, either, but no details seemed to be connecting with him. 

“We’ll explain more as we go, but we’ve got to head out before more Zs show up, come on,” Warren orders, and everyone obeys, Alvin Murphy coming out of his hiding place as the group heads towards the road.

Murphy catches 10k’s eye as they begin walking, and 10k drops back to the back of the group with him. Doc gives Murphy a small nod which he returns, probably assuming Murphy’s going to explain things to 10k. If he’s being honest, though, Murphy really just wants to see if there’s any trace of the 10k he’d built a relationship with.

“Who are you?” The first words 10k says to him after waking up hit Murphy like a punch to the heart. They’re almost accusatory, harsh and cold.

“Come on, Tommy-”

“I thought my name was 10k,” 10k’s tone is laden with suspicion, and Murphy runs a hand through his hair with a sigh.

“It is. But before you were 10k, you were Tommy, you told me that. It’s- I mean, it was important to you.” Talking to 10k is hard, and it’s never been that way for Murphy before. Even before they were together, it had been easy to talk with the slightly awkward killing machine that was 10k.

“If it’s so important, why did I tell you and not everyone else? Who are you?” The question is harsh again, and Murphy bites back a snapping, cruel response. 

“John Murphy. We were important to each other,” It doesn’t seem right to tell this person who looks like 10k but isn’t that they’d had sex, that Murphy knows what he sounds like when he’s satisfied, what the stuff of his nightmares was, and what he had once dreamed of growing up to be before the apocalypse happened.

“Important,” 10k seems to mull the word over for a moment, “were we a couple?”

“Yes,” Murphy almost feels guilty about it, for some strange reason. 10k nods thoughtfully, and they walk in silence for a while before he springs an odd request on Murphy.

“Kiss me.” The demand stops Murphy dead in his tracks.

“What?” The tone 10k had used was more like a command, unlike any of the ways Murphy had heard 10k pose that very request before, the words and the tone painfully discordant.

“If we were so close, it might help trigger a memory, right? So kiss me.” 10k turns to Murphy, apparently waiting for Murphy to obey his command.

And yes, it seems wrong to kiss someone who apparently doesn’t know him any more, but it’s still 10k, right? He still has the same sensitivities, the same skills, he’s still the same person, surely. And maybe he’s right, maybe like a fairytale, Murphy’s kiss will bring back his memories. Plus it’s hard to resist trying, difficult to truly convince himself that the person in front of him isn’t the same person he’d kissed that very morning.

So Murphy obliges, stepping up to 10k and pressing his lips to his. For a moment, 10k responds, and it feels good, right, exactly the way that kissing 10k ought to feel. He knows those lips, knows the way they fit against his own, and 10k seems to know it too. Murphy reaches up to tangle his hand in 10k’s hair, tugging slightly like had always driven him mad, and 10k frowns against his lips, reaching up to remove Murphy’s hand.

Murphy steps back, feeling sick to his stomach and knowing in that moment the truth of the words on his skin. 10k looks at him with no more care and affection than he had before and shrugs.

“It was worth a shot.”

Murphy nods in response, and 10k walks on to catch up with the group. Murphy doesn’t. His feet remain rooted to the ground, and when he catches Doc glancing back at him, he shakes his head.

_Don’t come back for me._

Murphy knows what the words that had been said earlier meant. They meant that 10k was his soulmate, that he’d been the one upside of the apocalypse. They meant that Murphy had been given his one chance for true, blissful happiness. And them having been said meant that his soulmate was dead. No matter that 10k is still walking with the group that grows further away, Doc apparently having understood Murphy’s silent message, Tommy is gone.

Murphy turns away before the group even fades from sight. He had thought that needing to be the one to give Tommy mercy would be the worst fate imaginable. He’d never considered that there could be a fate worse than seeing your loved one turn into a zombie, but the universe just loves to prove him wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, everyone! This is the first day of what I'm calling "Ficmas", which is going to end up being 12 brand new one shots for y'all to enjoy (3/day, one for each of my major fandoms each day from the 20th to the 24th) 
> 
> Johnkay is totally the fault of [Becca](http://i-mthebadguy.tumblr.com), and this specific fic is to be blamed on an anon by the moniker of Smiley Face Anon and the lovely [Emma](http://tenthousandzombies.tumblr.com). I'm not even sorry for the angst, ngl. Also, [Etra](http://coldsaturn.tumblr.com) is the best person on the planet for editing all of these fics, y'all should give her some love.
> 
> Feel free to yell at me [on tumblr!](http://jonnmurphy.tumblr.com) And thanks in advance for reading/commenting/leaving kudos <3


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